SEASONAL GREEN FOG TO ROLL IN NEXT WEEK

By: Roman

Things will soon get a bit spooky…

According to the Dimension Weather Prediction Service, the environment in the dream world will soon become conducive for “green fog” to appear. While the dream world is normally foggy, the fog itself will turn green in nature as Halloween gets closer. This is a result of nostalgic attribution to the holiday itself.

“It’s always around beginning of October that we start seeing this green fog phenomenon appear in the dream world,” DWPS senior meteorologist Neige told me, “It’s because a lot of people are beginning to feel the excitement for Halloween that it causes our fog to turn a spooky color, you know, green.”

Neige clarifies that, although a bit spooky in appearance, the green fog is merely cosmetic and not something particularly dangerous.

“We know that upon first glance it looks like toxic gas or just something dangerous to inhale but we can rest assured that that is not the case,” he explained, “Think of it like food coloring. The fog is merely ‘dyed’ green but it is still safe to breathe in. It’s just cosmetic, really.”

Aside from green fog, the weather service is not particularly monitoring anything concerning. They state that some areas might experience rain and/or thunderstorms as October rolls in also due to attribution to the Halloween season.

“We’ll also see a few areas experiencing thunderstorm activity though this is also because of Halloween approaching,” Neige said, “Typical October thunderstorm activity is not severe but rather just dreary and pesky. It gives meaning to the phrase ‘It was a dark and stormy night,’ you know?”

The DWPS expects green fog to roll in sometime in the coming week. For the latest weather forecast or other weather conditions in any area, please visit their website or your local forecasting office.

DIA’S L.A.T.E. BEGINS OPERATIONS WITH ROCKY INTENTIONS

By: Porter

The Lucid Apprehension Task Enforcement unit has officially begun operations.

According to the latest information out of the Dimension Investigation Agency, LATE began operations earlier this week on Monday. Chief detective Sylveran held a press conference to discuss the details and answer questions regarding LATE’s near-future goals and tasks.

“We officially began operating last Monday with a team of 150 members— all humans— to be specific,” Sylveran said on Wednesday, “We had well over 400 applicants and while many of them were quite qualified, we have decided to start off with 150. We may raise this number over time so don’t fret if you didn’t make the cut.”

The chief detective reiterated that social media would be first on the to-do list— a move that some have questioned for its implementation.

“Like I said before, LATE will first be focused on stomping out content on the internet that is deemed favorable to Lucid and has intentions of being spread with malicious intent,” the chief detective stated, “If you have anything good to say about Lucid, just don’t. There’s nothing good to say anyway.”

Sylveran also stated that LATE employees will begin such monitoring of pro-Lucid content on sites like LiminalSpaces. The DIA has reportedly been in talks with the owner of the site to begin flagging favorable Lucid content, though no such confirmation of that exists yet. Elsewhere, LATE is expected to also focus on Lucid’s whereabouts, particularly his old home.

“We’ve lost track of Lucid’s home and we’ll also be focusing on trying to track and locate where it might be,” chief Sylveran said, “If we find his home, there’s a good chance that he may be hiding out there. We just need to get organized and focus our attention on that.”

The chief made clear that any questions about LATE be directed towards himself as he is the one personally overlooking the unit.

“Any questions or concerns about LATE can be directed at me. I’m the one running this unit personally. I think we’re gonna do a great job and I look forward to our accomplishments.”

For the latest information about the DIA and LATE, visit their webpage on the DPF’s website for more and other resources.

Q/A: Ask Nate

Dear Nate, how can humans enter the dream world?

By: Hugh Mann

Hey Hugh! That question is surely one that always baffles us creatures of the dream world, but not to worry! Getting into the dream world from the real world is not easy, just as it is getting from the dream world to the real world. There are certain moments in time that appear to be glitches or malfunctions in the matrix. Such glitches can cause certain humans to accidentally fall out of reality and end up here in the dream world. There are infamous expressions like “noclipping” that humans have dubbed for those who stumble in the dream world. For a human, this can be quite scary! One day you’re walking to work and suddenly you fall down into the ground and poof! You’re in some weird dimension! Strangely, no one can really explain these glitches.

Another way humans fall into the dream world is by finding portals to it. I’m not too smart in this subject, but from what I’ve heard, there are strange vortexes in the real world that can actually take humans in them and make them come to the dream world in an instant. These strange vortexes could be some sort of strange magic, but magic only exists in the dream world, unless it somehow got out? 

In the easiest way that humans access this world, that is an often occurrence, is by sleeping! Yes, everyone dreams. Humans can subconsciously access the dream world, if they manage by luck, to dream of a memory they had before. Most dreams are quite personal, so they may not successfully reach our world. Sometimes, a dream might be recalled enough by other sleepy humans to make them manifest themselves into a dimension here. From there, humans get fuzzy feelings of nostalgia, encounter entities— sometimes scary ones which they might describe as nightmares! —and venture around in a world that may not make sense to them, but makes sense to us. And of course, they leave when they wake up in the real world!

To be clear, not all humans make it back to the real world. I’ve heard stories of humans going missing in the real world and never reappearing. Well, you should consider the fact that they just may be trapped in this world by accident! Getting humans back to the real world is hard, especially since they would need to seek the Council and get approval, but to do that, you need permission from the DPF, and it is quite tough to reach the Council. Then again, you could try speaking with someone in the dream world who would know about opening portals to the real world, even though it’s highly dangerous and prohibited, but there’s not many who can anyway. I hope this answers your question!

Dear Nate, what’s your favorite thing to eat?

By: D. Licious

Hi D! Oh boy, food! Well, I am a bit of a picky eater, so let me try to think as I explain. There are some creatures who like eating normal human food like pizza, ramen, tacos, or apples. Some creatures have other appetites like eyeballs, slime, motor oil, or even humans!

I for one do not like eating any of those things. Although, one time I did try out a strange beverage and well, let’s just say that Lucid had to come and pick me up.  Speaking of him, creatures also have specific times they eat. Some can go a human week without eating, some a month, and some years! I, for example, can last one month between meals, while Lucid lasts three months! Fig can last about half a year, and Telly, well, I’m not sure if they even eat at all!

So back to your question, I really enjoy eating human food. So many types of food they make, but to be honest, since I got a bit of a sweet tooth, I really like sundaes! I don’t mind the flavor that you give me, but sundaes have never let me down! It’s why I miss the Diner dimension, because their sundaes were always so good! Strawberry sundaes with hot fudge are always a real treat. Of course, I can always get sundaes elsewhere, but they don’t make them like they did in the diner…

There are many types of food in the dream world, and maybe I’m not like the other entities who eat eyeballs or devour trash, but sundaes are the best! It’s the best thing humans created that is edible for a dream demon like me!